How To Develop A Stronger Spiritual Life

Over the years, one of the questions I have been asked most is “how do I develop a stronger spiritual life”? Most people tell me they spend a great deal of time praying but don’t seem to get any answers, guidance or direction. In my experience I have found one sure-fire method of developing a stronger spiritual life and I will share it in this article.

Most people have been taught that reading, studying, prayer and worship are the keys to stronger spiritual development. Those things definitely have their place and should be done no matter what your chosen spiritual practice is.

However , reading, studying, prayer and worship will only take you so far. The key to spiritual development and growth is meditation. Prayer is us speaking to the universal powers, and is a one sided conversation. Meditation should follow prayer giving the universal powers the opportunity to speak to us and answer.

When speaking of meditation I am not referring to the practice in which the meditation itself is the goal. That type of meditation is great for stress management but won’t do much for spiritual growth. I speak of meditation with intention and purpose.

The most effective way I have found to begin this practice is to get close to nature. Find a place out in nature that you can get to easily, is quiet and where you can remain undisturbed. Your home altar will work also, but out in nature is best. Go to your place every morning, sit and pray, then meditate with the intention and purpose of receiving the answers you seek. Then do the same every evening. Even 10 or 15 minutes twice daily will cause your spiritual life to grow exponentially.

Find a method of meditation that works for you. Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR) works well for some while Transcendental Meditation works well for others. There are many methods you can learn. As you continue your practice it will slowly become easier for you to achieve the inner silence that is meditation. It is in the silence that answers come and growth begins.

When you are able to achieve the silence easily you will then find you can enter that silence at will, no matter where you are. This is when your meditation becomes dynamic, as meditation should be. The only requirement for meditation is that you are comfortable and relaxed. I am comfortable and relaxed while taking a walk and therefore can enter the silence. Many times when I am creating or fixing something I take the time to ask how to do it, go to the silence, and get a very clear picture of how to complete the project.

As you continue this practice you will develop greater awareness of all that is around you. Your intuition will become stronger and you will have a greatly expanded “sense of knowing”. You will begin to understand the spiritual communications that seldom come in language but rather in pictures, dreams, emotions, symbols and waking visions. It is then that you will realize you were receiving answers all along but simply did not know how to listen.

Following this practice with dedication and commitment will open the door to unlimited spiritual growth and development as well as open two way communication with the spirit world. Don’t be discouraged if it takes a while to learn. Be persistent in your practice and the rewards will be greater than you can imagine.

Learning to Trust Again

God has made full provision for healing the pain of past so you can trust again.

“ He heals the brokenhearted and bindeth up their wounds. ” Psalms 147: 3

Have you ever trusted someone to love you that did not know how to love? Or have you ever loved someone that did not know how to receive your love? In both cases you will experience rejection. This type of rejection is very painful especially when it comes from someone whom you really trust. The pain from being hurt by someone you trust is much greater than being hurt by a casual friend. It takes years to build trust, but it only takes a moment of rejection to tear down trust. This is because when you trust someone, you open your heart up to them. When they reject you, the natural tendency is to close your heart to them in order to avoid being hurt again. The pain that comes from rejection creates a big wound that must be healed in order to be able to trust that person again.

Jesus made complete provision for our physical and emotional healing. But many people are stuck, “locked in time” desperately needing to be set free from the pain of the past. One way many people try to get rid of pain is to just forget what happened and forget about the person who hurt them. You can tear that person out of your address book and for a while you will be able to forget what happened but if healing did not occur the pain is still there. The pain that lingers from the past keeps you tied to the past. Isaiah, the prophet, said in Isaiah 1: 4-6 that those people who have not been healed will go backwards. Like taking one step forward and then two steps backward, you aren’t getting anywhere.

Another way many people deal with pain is to run from it or pretend it really isn’t there. Pain is like a shadow you look around and it is still there no matter how fast you run. That is why so many people are walking around with the shadow of the past still on them. Pain must be faced and dealt with in order for it to be put away. Instead of running from pain, stop, turn around and face it. Pain must be faced to be healed. You may be one who has received some healing, but the pain still remains. Jeremiah 6: 14 also says that when a person has only been healed slightly, they say peace, peace, but when there is no peace. The amount of peace you are having can be a good indicator of how much healing you have received. Once you are healed and the pain is gone you will be ale to hold your heart open again and trust. healing produces trust in you. If the person that hurt you has proven over and over to not be trustworthy, suggest they also receive healing. healing produces trustworthiness in them. Then wait on the Lord to give you peace.

The following steps can be taken to work through healing. These steps will need to be repeated out loud or written down several times during the healing process. You will experience the peace of the Lord as you go through this process. Now is the time for healing!

1. Step one for healing is to face it.

Who hurt you?

Who left you?

Who did not receive you?

Who refused to love you?

2. Step two for healing is to face what you lost.

Did you loose a good friend?

Did you loose a husband?

Did you loose a wife?

Fill in the blank, I lost .

3. Step three for healing is to accept that the thing you lost is gone.

Make a list and write down all that you have lost.

I accept the fact that is gone.

4. Step four for healing is to acknowledge to the Lord that you have been hurt and angry.

Lord, I have been angry at for .

I ask you to forgive me, and cleanse my heart of this anger.

5. Step five for healing is to release what you have lost.

Lord, I ask for your help to be set free from this pain. Lord by myself I can not accept the losses. I ask for your help to accept what I have lost. I accept the reality that is gone; and I release (person or thing).

6. Step six for healing is to forgive the person.

Lord, I choose to forgive for hurting me. They owe me nothing.

7. Step seven for healing.

My hope is in You, Lord. I know You are the one that gives life. Not the person or the things I have lost.

8. Step eight for healing is to choose life.

Lord, I choose Life; help me to continue looking forward towards the life you have given me.

Healing Quest: Marianne Williamson on Forgiveness

Healing The Abandonment Wounds

Every individual I’ve worked with has had some abandonment wound to heal, and most relationship problems stem from abandonment wounds.
It is not possible to grow up in our society without some abandonment wounds. The following are some of the ways it can occur:

• Being torn away from mother at birth and put into a nursery.
• Being left to cry in a crib or playpen.
• Being given up for adoption or being left in foster care.
• Being physically and/or sexually abused.
• Being emotionally abused - ignored, yelled at, shamed.
• Being pushed aside at the birth of a new sibling.
• Having a parent or caregiver who is emotionally unavailable.
• Being unseen or misunderstood by parents or other caregivers.
• Being lied to.
• Being unprotected by a parent or caregiver.
• Being left alone in a hospital during an illness.
• Losing a beloved parent or grandparent at a very young age.
• Divorce.
• Being teased or left out with siblings or peers.
• Being ridiculed by a teacher.
• Being forgotten - not being picked up from school or other places.
• Being left at a young age to care for oneself, a parent, or other siblings.

When we are deeply wounded at a young age, we cannot handle the pain, so we find ways to dissociate from the intense feelings. Then, later in life, especially when we fall in love, these old wounds can get activated. Our beloved gets angry, withdraws, gives attention to someone else, says mean things, doesn't tell the truth, doesn't stand up for us, comes home late, wanders away in a crowded public place, misunderstands us, and so on - and suddenly the pain that has been pushed aside all these years comes roaring to the surface. We think that we are reacting to the present situation, but what is really happening is that the old, unhealed abandonment wound has been touched off. We might find ourselves suddenly enraged or falling apart with intense tears. Our reaction seems too big for the situation, yet we cannot seem to stop the inner pain. We might start to shake violently as the old terror finally erupts.

We want our beloved to take the pain away by stopping his or her behavior. If only he or she would not do the thing that activates these feelings, we would be fine. Yet until we actually heal these old, deep wounds, we will not be fine. We will always be vulnerable to having these wounds activated.
Healing the abandonment wounds does not happen overnight, yet it does not have to take years either. Step one is to tune into your feelings with a willingness to take responsibility for your pain. Once you are aware that deep pain has been activated, seek the help of someone who can hold you and nurture you while you go into the abandonment pain. If no one is available, hold a doll, bear or pillow, and bring in love to the hurting part of you. Open to your concept of God or Spirit and allow this source of love and strength to nurture you.
It is often not advisable to seek the help of the person who activated the wound because:
1) he or she may still be stuck in their own wounded place, the place that touched off your wound;
2) you might become dependent upon your beloved taking care of you and taking the pain away instead of actually healing the pain.

Once you are with a safe, nurturing person, or even on the phone with a safe person, hold a doll or bear or even a pillow very tightly and breath into the pain. Open to learning and allow the Inner Child who is in pain to give you information about the original pain that is still stuck in the body. The body holds the memories that you repressed at the time, and now the body is releasing these memories. Many images may come up as you open to learning with your Inner Child. Be sure you have your spiritual guidance with you, holding you, surrounding you with love and comfort as you open to learning about this deep pain. In order to truly understand your present reaction, you need to understand what happened to you when you were little. Keep breathing deeply and allowing your Inner Child to inform you, even if you are crying. Tell the person helping you what your Child is telling you about what happened to you when you were little. It may take awhile, but gradually you will calm down. At that point, tune into what false beliefs you may have embraced as a child that are affecting you now, and what else your Child needs right now to feel loved and safe.

Being there for your wounded child this way will gradually heal the abandonment wounds. Ignoring your feelings, trying to make them go away, or trying to get someone else to take them away will only serve to re-wound you. It is only when you no longer abandon yourself that the old wounds begin to heal. Eventually, another's behavior that previously triggered your intense reaction will no longer do so. You may feel sad or lonely when a loved one gets angry or withdraws in some way, but as long as you continue to show up for yourself, the intense pain will not be there.

If the pain seems stuck in the body no matter what you do, then you need to seek out a practitioner who knows how to release old pain out of the body through acupressure or other bodywork.
Once these old wounds are healing, you will feel a new sense of personal power. Others’ behavior can no longer trigger you into these intensely painful feelings. However , a word of caution: we may think it is healed, only to discover another level when we move into a more intimate relationship, or more intimacy with a present partner. The closer the relationship, the deeper the wounds get activated. That is why the primary relationship is the most powerful arena for healing there is, and Inner Bonding - the process outlined here - is a most powerful tool!

Depression from a Spiritual Perspective

This article about the intense subject of depression anticipates two ways of reaction. The question is: Will it be – in your case - shock or relief?

When you read about depression, you will encounter many passages like the following:

“These brain chemicals—in varying amounts—are responsible for our emotional state. Depression happens, when these chemical messages aren’t delivered correctly between brain cells, disrupting communication. ”

What could be probably wrong with that statement?

It is based on the unquestioned belief that human beings are machines. Although this assumption is widespread, it is simply not a fact. Machines are built, operated and cared for by conscious human beings. In an analogous way our body and mind exist because of our existence as conscious beings.

It is not matter, which builds consciousness, but it is consciousness, which forms matter. That is actually our observation everywhere.

The matter of depression must be totally reevaluated from this new perspective. It is not a fact that brain chemicals are responsible for our emotional state, but vice versa. Our emotional state leads to the production of certain chemicals in our brain and body.

Of course there is an interlink between the two planes. Emotional states can definitely be influenced by certain chemical substances. But there is some substantial loss of information, as the “positive” state induced by chemicals cannot be compared with a natural positive state derived from the firm foundation in the conviction that life is wonderful.

Here we have arrived at a crucial point.

Depression is not caused by chemicals in the brain, but rather causes chemicals in the brain. Depression is a state of mind, wherein the affected human being has lost his/her connection to the original quality of life, which is bliss, knowledge and eternity.

Neither will medication help to overcome depression, nor superficial psychological treatment. The only way to help the depression sufferer is by unalloyed love, which is rare in this world. This sort of love will not further push him into the state of a helpless and powerless victim, but will empower him to take his fate into his own hands.

In this way the person suffering with depression will be given the chance to see live from a new perspective. He will learn to love himself despite of any shortcomings, because – by feeling appreciated and loved – he will come to love his real spiritual personality, which is always beyond the polarity of material despair and happiness. When he finds shelter in the ultimate quality of pure consciousness, which is unconditional love, he will feel the natural bliss of life.

Consequently this article ends with a request to doctors and psychologists: Become unconditional lovers! All other cures are temporary, like shifting a hurting heavy weight from one shoulder to the other. If you want to solve the root problem, you have to solve it first and foremost in yourself.

Because of you ♥